THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

Act 5 Scene 2

(Enter Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, the Pedant, Lucentio and Bianca, Petruccio, Katherine, and Hortensio, Tranio, Biondello, Grumio, and the Widow, the servingmen with Tranio bringing in a banquet)
l1l	Lucentio	 At last, though long, our jarring notes agree,
l2l		And time it is when raging war is done
l3l		To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
l4l		My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
l5l		While I with selfsame kindness welcome thine.
l6l		Brother Petruccio, sister Katherina,
l7l		And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
l8l		Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.
l9l		My banquet is to close our stomachs up
l10l		After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down,
l11l		For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
		(They sit)
l12l	Petruccio	 Nothing but sit, and sit, and eat, and eat.
l13l	Baptista	Padua affords this kindness, son Petruccio.
l14l	Petruccio	Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
l15l	Hortensio	For both our sakes I would that word were true.
l16l	Petruccio	Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
l17l	Widow	Then never trust me if I be afeard.
l18l	Petruccio	You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense.
l19l		I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.
l20l	Widow	He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
l21l	Petruccio	Roundly replied.
l22l	Katherine	Mistress, how mean you that?
l23l	Widow	Thus I conceive by him.
l24l	Petruccio	Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
l25l	Hortensio	My widow says thus she conceives her tale.
l26l	Petruccio	 Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good
l27l		widow.
l28l	Katherine	 “He that is giddy thinks the world turns round”—
l29l		I pray you tell me what you meant by that.
l30l	Widow	Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
l31l		Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe.
l32l		And now you know my meaning.
l33l	Katherine	A very mean meaning.
	Widow	Right, I mean you.
l34l	Katherine	And I am mean indeed respecting you.
l35l	Petruccio	 To her, Kate!
l36l	Hortensio	To her, widow!
l37l	Petruccio	 A hundred marks my Kate does put her down.
l38l	Hortensio	 That’s my office.
l39l	Petruccio	 Spoke like an officer! Ha’ to thee, lad.
		( 39 He drinks to Hortensio)
l40l	Baptista	 How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
l41l	Gremio	Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
l42l	Bianca	Head and butt? An hasty-witted body
l43l		Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
l44l	Vincentio	Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?
l45l	Bianca	Ay, but not frighted me, therefore I’ll sleep again.
l46l	Petruccio	Nay, that you shall not. Since you have begun,
l47l		Have at you for a better jest or two.
l48l	Bianca	Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,
l49l		And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
l50l		You are welcome all.
		(Exit Bianca with Katherine and the Widow)
l51l	Petruccio	 She hath prevented me here, Signor Tranio.
l52l		This bird you aimed at, though you hit her not.
l53l		Therefore a health to all that shot and missed.
l54l	Tranio	O sir, Lucentio slipped me like his greyhound,
l55l		Which runs himself and catches for his master.
l56l	Petruccio	A good swift simile, but something currish.
l57l	Tranio	’Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself.
l58l		’Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
l59l	Baptista	O, O, Petruccio, Tranio hits you now.
l60l	Lucentio	I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
l61l	Hortensio	Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?
l62l	Petruccio	A has a little galled me, I confess,
l63l		And as the jest did glance away from me,
l64l		’Tis ten to one it maimed you two outright.
l65l	Baptista	Now in good sadness, son Petruccio,
l66l		I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
l67l	Petruccio	Well, I say no.—And therefore, Sir Assurance,
l68l		Let’s each one send unto his wife,
l69l		And he whose wife is most obedient
l70l		To come at first when he doth send for her
l71l		Shall win the wager which we will propose.
l72l	Hortensio	Content. What’s the wager?
l73l	Lucentio	Twenty crowns.
l74l	Petruccio	Twenty crowns!
l75l		I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
l76l		But twenty times so much upon my wife.
l77l	Lucentio	A hundred, then.
l78l	Hortensio	Content.
l79l	Petruccio	A match, ’tis done.
l80l	Hortensio	Who shall begin?
l81l	Lucentio	That will I.
l82l		Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
l83l	Biondello	I go.
		(Exit)
l84l	Baptista	 Son, I’ll be your half Bianca comes.
l85l	Lucentio	I’ll have no halves, I’ll bear it all myself.
		( 85 Enter Biondello)
l86l		How now, what news?
	Biondello	Sir, my mistress sends you word
l87l		That she is busy and she cannot come.
l88l	Petruccio	How? She’s busy and she cannot come?
l89l		Is that an answer?
	Gremio	Ay, and a kind one, too.
l90l		Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
l91l	Petruccio	I hope, better.
	Hortensio	Sirrah Biondello,
l92l		Go and entreat my wife to come to me forthwith.
		(Exit Biondello)
l93l	Petruccio	 O ho, “entreat” her—nay, then she must needs come.
l94l	Hortensio	I am afraid, sir, do what you can,
		(Enter Biondello)
l95l		Yours will not be entreated. Now, where’s my wife?
l96l	Biondello	She says you have some goodly jest in hand.
l97l		She will not come. She bids you come to her.
l98l	Petruccio	Worse and worse! She will not come—O vile,
l99l		Intolerable, not to be endured!
l100l		Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress.
l101l		Say I command her come to me.
		(Exit Grumio)
l102l	Hortensio	 I know her answer.
	Petruccio	What?
	Hortensio	She will not.
l103l	Petruccio	The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
		(Enter Katherine)
l104l	Baptista	 Now by my halidom, here comes Katherina.
l105l	Katherine	(to Petruccio)
		 What is your will, sir, that you send for me?
l106l	Petruccio	Where is your sister and Hortensio’s wife?
l107l	Katherine	They sit conferring by the parlour fire.
l108l	Petruccio	Go, fetch them hither. If they deny to come,
l109l		Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands.
l110l		Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
		(Exit Katherine)
l111l	Lucentio	 Here is a wonder, if you talk of wonders.
l112l	Hortensio	And so it is. I wonder what it bodes.
l113l	Petruccio	Marry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life#
l114l		An aweful rule and right supremacy,
l115l		And, to be short, what not that’s sweet and happy.
l116l	Baptista	Now fair befall thee, good Petruccio,
l117l		The wager thou hast won, and I will add
l118l		Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns,
l119l		Another dowry to another daughter,
l120l		For she is changed as she had never been.
l121l	Petruccio	Nay, I will win my wager better yet,
l122l		And show more sign of her obedience,
l123l		Her new-built virtue and obedience.
		(Enter Katherine, Bianca, and the Widow)
l124l		See where she comes, and brings your froward wives
l125l		As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
l126l		Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not.
l127l		Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot.
		(Katherine throws down her cap)
l128l	Widow	 Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh
l129l		Till I be brought to such a silly pass.
l130l	Bianca	Fie, what a foolish duty call you this?
l131l	Lucentio	I would your duty were as foolish, too.
l132l		The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
l133l		Hath cost me a hundred crowns since supper-time.
l134l	Bianca	The more fool you for laying on my duty.
l135l	Petruccio	Katherine, I charge thee tell these headstrong women
l136l		What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
l137l	Widow	Come, come, you’re mocking. We will have no telling.
l138l	Petruccio	Come on, I say, and first begin with her.
l139l	Widow	She shall not.
l140l	Petruccio	I say she shall: and first begin with her.
l141l	Katherine	Fie, fie, unknit that threat’ning, unkind brow,
l142l		And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
l143l		To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
l144l		It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
l145l		Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
l146l		And in no sense is meet or amiable.
l147l		A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
l148l		Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty,
l149l		And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
l150l		Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
l151l		Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
l152l		Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
l153l		And for thy maintenance commits his body
l154l		To painful labour both by sea and land,
l155l		To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
l156l		Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe,
l157l		And craves no other tribute at thy hands
l158l		But love, fair looks, and true obedience,
l159l		Too little payment for so great a debt.
l160l		Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
l161l		Even such a woman oweth to her husband,
l162l		And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
l163l		And not obedient to his honest will,
l164l		What is she but a foul contending rebel,
l165l		And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
l166l		I am ashamed that women are so simple
l167l		To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
l168l		Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
l169l		When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
l170l		Why are our bodies soft, and weak, and smooth,
l171l		Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
l172l		But that our soft conditions and our hearts
l173l		Should well agree with our external parts?
l174l		Come, come, you froward and unable worms,
l175l		My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
l176l		My heart as great, my reason haply more,
l177l		To bandy word for word and frown for frown#
l178l		But now I see our lances are but straws,
l179l		Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
l180l		That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
l181l		Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
l182l		And place your hands below your husband’s foot,
l183l		In token of which duty, if he please,
l184l		My hand is ready, may it do him ease.
l185l	Petruccio	Why, there’s a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.
		( 185 They kiss)
l186l	Lucentio	 Well, go thy ways, old lad, for thou shalt ha ’t.
l187l	Vincentio	’Tis a good hearing when children are toward.
l188l	Lucentio	But a harsh hearing when women are froward.
l189l	Petruccio	Come, Kate, we’ll to bed.
l190l		We three are married, but you two are sped.
l191l		’Twas I won the wager, though
		(to Lucentio)
		 you hit the white,
l192l		And being a winner, God give you good night.
		(Exit Petruccio with Katherine)
l193l	Hortensio	 Now go thy ways, thou hast tamed a curst shrew.
l194l	Lucentio	’Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so. 
		(Exeunt omnes)